Hampster Wheel

I am exhausting myself. It’s time to take care of me. By Thanksgiving, I will only be working three days a week again. Back down to two jobs. I hope that my third job boss is okay with that, but I just can’t do this anymore.

It scares me, though. I almost feel like I shouldn’t give up this extra source of income. Because my  husband still isn’t making what he used to. And our bills keep creeping up. By the way, what’s with insurance companies just randomly increasing your monthly payment every couple of months out of nowhere? There’s a couple other ones, too, that I feel are nickel and diming me out of my hard-earned cash. Not to mention an extra $35 per transaction when your bank account is out of dollars. Couldn’t they wait to charge it until there’s actually money back in there? Because then I might have avoided the second hit when my insurance payment was withdrawn a day early. Sigh.

But I digress. I feel like I’m running and running and getting nowhere. Something has to change. I haven’t made a student loan payment on purpose for four years. Because I just can’t. There were times when we really were kind of getting ahead. We had some savings and could treat ourselves to a night out for a birthday or special occasion. There were times when I was optimistic that we could stay in our little condo, which we’ve made into quite the cozy home, even with a hefty upside-down mortgage and retail jobs. I’m not so sure that’s the case anymore.

I have a to-do list a mile long, but when I have a free afternoon, at the top of my list is getting in touch with our mortgage lender. We’re not behind, but it’s time to see if we can tame the largest drain on our finances and my emotions somehow.

And after the new baby comes and we’ve settled down from the birth for a few months, it’ll be time to make the next big leap. We’re lonely for family, we’re drowning in debt. There’s a solution in sight, and that will be getting rid of the condo, moving back to Wisconsin, living with my father-in-law while we pay off our creditors to a comfort point and figure out where to go next. Because if we’re going to work crappy retail jobs, there’s really no reason for us to do it in Virginia, so far away from them.

So for now, I’m trying to have faith that something will come along to keep us afloat until then.

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One thought on “Hampster Wheel

  1. Mom says:

    Goals and time frames are a great start! Everything will work out for the best! Dad and I are here for you!

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