Another Installment of Random Cuteness

I’ve been collecting and writing down some of the hilarious stuff that M has been saying and doing over the past couple of months. I really love this age, it’s one of the times I looked forward to when I was pregnant and dreaming of having an awesome little kid running around the house. I just had to share, because maybe you could use some laughs today, too.

  • We were playing “moon dough” and I made a puppy with the doghouse mold thing. M looked it over and told me, “He needs his nuts.” He then proceeded to attach a few random globs of dough to the hindquarters of the little mutt.
  • He’s learning the difference between boys and girls, men and ladies, sir and ma’am. So the other day he told his daddy, “Yes sir,” and just in case we didn’t realize that his correct use of the term wasn’t just a lucky guess, he followed up with, “Because Daddy’s The Man.”
  • I told him he was silly, he said, “I’m silly? I’m too much!”
  • “I can’t speak without talking!”
  • “May I have that dot?” He asked me. “Yes,” I said, “but just the dot.” “Not the nipple.” That’s right, kid.
  • More dot related: “That’s a really useful dot.”
  • “When I’m a girl, I’m going to have a vagina.”
  • “Please hold my hand so the poop can come out.”
  • “When you’re bigger, you can touch the moon.”
  • “Hi, Mommy, my best friend!”
  • “Wipe my hands off… off my body.”
  • We were talking about before he was born and a bit about God, he told me, “And I asked God for Mommy to carry me.”
  • “My  nuts is getting bigger and bigger for me to touch on.”
  • To a little girl in the sandbox at the park: “Hi, my name is Mister Michael.”
  • “You don’t want to say [snorting noise]”
  • “My name is Mister Michael Pizza Larry DaVinci.”
  • “There’s a penis blocking your way.”
  • In the car, he held up one of his train engines to his ear and was pretending to talk on the phone. Me: “Who are you talking to?” Him: “That’s my brother on the phone.” Me: “What does he say?” Him: “He says, ‘hi.'”
  • “How would you like to play some Little Big Planet with me?” (He’s obsessed with this video game.)
  • “My daddy is a truck.” Friend: “I thought he was a daddy.” M: “Nope. He’s a truck.”
  • We ordered a few boxes of Girl Scout cookies from a neighbor, Thin Mints and Shortbread (or whatever silly name they’re called now). So he liked the shortbread just fine until he tried the thin mints. He started calling those the “ice creamy ones” (because we kept them in the freezer) and then after that he took to asking for the “short regular bread cookies” because they were not the short bread, but regular.
  • In place of naughty words (of which I believe he only really knows one – starting with a D), he’s started saying “bunkus.” Which should totally be a word. Especially the way he says it.
  • Since he’s been going to sleep on his own in his room at night, every once in awhile he’ll tell me, “I don’t want you to go out of my room and put on bad music.” I have no idea where the music part comes from.
  • He’s gotten much better at distinguishing and identifying people as either male or female, but his theory on how he and I got the parts we have is kind of amusing. “When you were one,” he tells me, “you had a penis. And I had a penis. And then the magic gold dust came, and you got a vagina.”
  • The other day, we were driving somewhere, and he told me to turn right. I said that I didn’t need to go right, and he replied, “Recalculating…”

I’ve got to get some new videos of that kid. In the meantime, I’m trying my best to keep a notebook and pen on hand so that I don’t forget this stuff. I’ve probably forgotten at least as many acts and phrases as I’ve managed to collect here, but it’s something. And I hope it makes you smile.

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