On a Sunny Day

The last few weeks have been rough. James has had one of those important visits from some important corporate person hanging over his head. It’s been postponed and postponed again. Which sometimes is fine in the short-term–like the days when he would have had to put in an extra several hours on top of a full shift, he ends up home in time for dinner–but as the weeks have dragged on, there are more days than not when we barely have time to communicate the very basics of household activities. Did the kid eat? Are the dishes clean? Do you need any pants washed?

Needless to say, we haven’t had much quality time together. Which leaves me feeling a little lonely. I’ve been missing a lot of my friends. I’ve been trying to do something that makes me feel better about our situation. That being, me waiting for James to have some time not only for me, but for himself. He had been doing very well with his physical fitness and determination to meet certain goals he’d set out for himself. Now, though, with all that’s happening at his store, it seems like we’ve landed back in purgatory. And here I am again, the disappointed optimist.

I’m trying to figure out what I can do to change our circumstances while James works. I applied for a job I probably don’t have a chance at getting. I am racking my brain to think of ways to cut the spending budget. The only income increase I can hope for is that I get some extra hours tossed my way soon. Or some freelance work comes in. I am feeling burdened and trapped. And I feel like the only one carrying the weight.

I have some ideas. But it’s not going to be easy. And I can’t do it alone.

The sun is shining. M rode his bike very well this morning and had fun, and James will be home for dinner. Maybe we can come up with some plans together.

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