Since I doubled my out-of-the-house work, I haven’t had a whole lot of time for much else, including the stuff that I used to do on a regular basis. I like to do most of the household chores with my little helper around so that during nap time and post-bedtime, I can have a little “me time.”
“Me time” usually involves my computer and something sweet to eat. I log onto Facebook, checking up on people I know or once knew. Trying to connect in some way, to feel a the tiniest bit social. And most of the time, I just end up feeling more alone. My regular weekly playgroup is on hiatus for the summer, and in the fall, it’s entirely possible that instead of the small, intimate group of mothers we’ve come to be every week, we’ll be assimilated into a larger group Bible study, and I’m not entirely sure this is something to which I’m ready to commit.
I try to get out with M as much as I can. But because my time has been cut so short, the excitement of our days is usually limited to trips to Costco or Safeway. We do manage to get to the library and the playground on occasion, even the pool once in awhile, but it’s not always easy. I’m actually kind of looking forward to the days when he won’t need an afternoon nap, because seriously? His nap takes up the entire afternoon. Don’t get me wrong, I like the “me time,” especially when I get to do important things like upload pictures I may not be able to afford to print or make sure my bills are being paid on time, but at least if I could count on him not completely melting down right around lunch time, maybe we could have some more satisfying outings.
Or maybe I just need to make more of an effort in this area again. Initiate. Go find things to do, even if they’re just things for me. It’s not that I can’t take M out through naptime, because if I’ve got him in the car or the Ergo, he’ll sleep when he’s tired. It’s just that I don’t usually have a reason to take him out for those lengths of time beyond my own need to be away from the house. And when it comes right down to it, it’s just easier to stick close to home and put him down in his own bed for his midday siesta. I’ve been known to be a little lazy, at times, after all. I’m lazy about finding things that M would like to do. I’m lazy about finding things that I would like to do, either by myself or with the toddler in tow. I’ll have to work on it, and maybe see if a few of my 192 Facebook friends can translate back into that whole “real life” kind of social life I used to have once upon a time.