Today Michael and I went to one of the local La Leche League meetings. I always feel better after those. There are other moms there, moms that I’m slowly getting to know. Slowly because these meetings are only once a month for less than two hours. But it’s something. And reassuring to know that even if I don’t know what I’m doing… well, everyone else is just winging it, too. They’ve just been at it longer.
I believe it was MetroDad who once used the metaphor of a duck to describe a great marriage — that it may look smooth on the surface, but underneath, you’ve got to paddle like hell. I think it’s equally applicable to the parenthood situation, too. And sometimes a mom just needs to hear that she’s not the only one sweating from the effort.
Of course, even though we had a great time with the group (and their babies) today (Michael was totally flirting with an older woman, a 7-month-old), it was over again all too quickly and James was off to work in another blink of an eye, and then the afternoon began to drag on. And that good feeling faded as the baby’s fussiness increased. A nap helped both of us a little bit.
But after he had the hugest poop in the world, he was smiling and laughing, and I was glad to be his mom again. And I had leftover Chinese food for dinner. And there’s frozen custard waiting for me in the kitchen.
Last night, I got to make valentines for people I don’t know. It was creative and fun. And I should put more creative stuff back on my daily to-do lists. That might help.
So there are ups, there are downs.
I am happy and I am sad.
Sometimes I feel like a
nut mom, sometimes I don’t.