You are one month old today. Even though I know how fast time goes, it’s still hard to believe a month has already passed since the day you were born. You already have this amazing personality that comes out more and more each day. Sometimes I look at you, when you make all those crazy baby faces or when you’re totally relaxed in sleep, and I almost feel like I am catching a glimpse of the boy you will become. It’s still vague, of course, but you have an energy all your own, and you have definitely made a place for yourself in our hearts and home and settled right in like you’ve been here all along.
The first days with you were hard, but not as impossible as I thought they might be, based on some of the stories I’d heard. We had a little trouble with the pooping and the jaundice, but even through those few really difficult days I was confident in your overall good health and happy spirits. You love to sleep on the warm bodies of your parents and other relatives, and you have such charisma that even your far away loved ones already have a sense of who you are.
Yesterday, I read you a picture book while you sat in your bouncer. It was a long one, and to my surprise, we made it more than half way through. You looked at the book and listened to my voice, and even if you can’t understand the words or make any sense of the pictures yet, I’m fairly certain that you enjoyed the experience as much as I did. I look forward to finding your favorite stories and reading them at your request someday.
I’ve spent every single day with you, which means that it’s a little hard to notice all the changes in you from one to the next. But thinking back on when we first brought you home, you definitely seem more mature. And even though you haven’t gained a whole lot of ounces or inches, it seems like you’re growing.
You hold your head up for longer and longer periods each day. You spend a lot more time now looking around, quietly taking in the world in those calm periods between diaper changes, feedings and naps. And you don’t scream nearly as much anymore when we change you, even when you have a major poop that needs severe wiping. You even seem to understand how the whole process works because you curl your body up when I slip the diaper underneath you and when I pull it over to the front, you stretch out your legs to make it easier to close. And after all is clean and dry, sometimes you let out this big contented coo as if to say, “Thanks, that’s much better.”
Your voice is so sweet, especially when you speak up without crying, which happens more and more often during the day. And your eyes are changing color as they soak up all this new knowledge, though we still can’t tell if they’ll be that pretty gray blue green like your dad’s or dark brown like mine or like your own unique shade. And your smile…what can I say, it melts my heart every time and cracks me up. I’m still trying to catch it in a photo.
It makes me a little sad that you are starting to lose the hair on your back and shoulders, though the fuzz around your ears seems like it might stick around awhile longer. I love everything about you, and even when I don’t know why you’re crying or what you seem to be so anxious to verbalize, I know that just by being here, I can give you some of what you need.