I feel sexy. Is that totally unheard of for a woman who gave birth not three weeks ago? Maybe, but it’s true. I spent my few solitary pre-shower moments looking at my body in the mirror. It’s still pretty hot. And the stretch marks that I thought I would loathe? They’re actually quite pretty.
Looking at myself this way that I do sometimes makes me feel a little out of shape, a little less than where I want my body to be, but today, even with these few extra pounds, I feel like I look fantastic.
I still see what needs to be done once I get the doctor’s okay to exercise, I can’t deny that. I never really planned to go all out to lose the “baby weight” or anything, which is why I tried not to go overboard with the eating and the gaining during the pregnancy, because I know me, and I’m not one who’s ever really stuck to an exercise regimen or a diet or whatever. But I have some yoga and pilates DVDs, which I have used before to get the body to a good place, and I like my neighborhood enough to enjoy a walk through it, so I think it’s not unrealistic to expect that I will exercise at least minimally once I get that okay. Because I want to fit into my size tens again, especially since I don’t want to have to spend the money on a whole new wardrobe. And I want to be in shape and feel healthy and yes, sexy.
Today, though, even with the soft belly, the thicker waist and thighs, I look damn good. And it helps that my husband looks at me and looks forward to the end of my six weeks of healing, because it’s been awhile since I’ve felt this way, since I’ve felt like expressing that side of myself at all. And it feels really good.
I’m proud of this body. It’s bouncing back nicely, and more than that, it has done this amazing thing. I think that’s why I’m liking the stretch marks so much, they will always be there to remind me of what this body can do, has done for our family. I’m even kind of sad knowing that the bright pink color will fade, that the marks will shrink if and when I work on toning up. I don’t know if I would go out of my way to show them off, exactly, but if my middle happens to be exposed, I’m glad these stripes are there for all to see. I earned them.