Sweet Child o’ Mine

Dear Pregnancy Hormones,

You have been so good to me for six whole months, and I’m not even being sarcastic when I say this. I have truly been among the lucky ones. You never made me puke, and you’ve really only inspired a few very mild breakdowns over silly things like pancakes, road rage, or sex. Both my husband and I appreciate your relatively laid-back approach to helping my body nourish and support our unborn child.

However, I really hope that you haven’t just been saving up all your ill effects for my pancreas. I don’t like to worry about things like gestational diabetes. Things like calorie or carb counting. I enjoy my freedom to make choices about what to consume and how much to exercise in order to be a healthy me, and I think I’ve been doing pretty well so far, so I would really prefer it if you could step away from the insulin and allow my body to process sugars the way that it always has.

I wish you hadn’t caused my first glucose test to come back high. And maybe the only reason I am upset by this result is because I don’t have any more vacation time at work and money is always one of those back-of-the mind worries, because now I need additional testing, which means an extra appointment where I have to miss work. But the thing is that this further testing also means that I have to go to an entirely different medical establishment for the first time ever, and you hormones can attest to the fact that I’m not always completely balanced when I am forced to venture someplace new all by myself. Also, I trusted you. Just like I trusted the rest of my body’s processes, and even though this time, you let me down a little bit, I hope that the additional screening will reveal that you were just a little off that day and really, you’re doing the best you can for us and we won’t have to hear any more about this particular “condition.”

I figure that since we’ve only got about 12 weeks together before you hand me off to your buddies in the lactation department, maybe we can work out some kind of deal. I’ll let you take over my emotions a few more times than maybe you otherwise would, and you can just leave the insulin and the pancreas alone for a couple more months. I promise that I will try to take even more walks and keep an eye on the carb intake, too, if it will help. All I ask is that you encourage my organs to process those three-hour sugars the way that 94-98% of other pregnant women do. Nice and normal.

Once again, thank you for all your cooperation so far throughout this pregnancy. I don’t know what we would do without you, and if it’s in the cards, perhaps we will have the opportunity to work together again in the future.

Sincerely,
Sara (a.k.a. “The Body”)

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