24 Hours in a Bottle

Actually, when all is said and done, there will be 72 hours in that bottle. Well, I’m guessing the same bottle won’t actually be in use for all of those hours, but there it is.

What the hell am I talking about?

Pee. Yes, pee.

Because I have been blessed with slightly elevated blood pressure, I get to collect 24 hours of urine once every trimester. I have no idea how much pee I will produce in 24 hours. The bottle that they gave me just doesn’t seem like it will hold it all, though I admit I probably do have a slightly skewed perception of my piss production right now. I really feel like I’m going all the time. I have no idea why they want to see so much of my pee, but supposedly it is to help them monitor me for pregnancy induced hypertension. Overall, this is a good thing, but let us not forget that my blood pressure has been a little on the high side since well before I went and got myself knocked up. And the height of said pressure has not changed very much in the few months since conception.

So, really, I just have to laugh. Because it’s pretty silly. At least from this end. I’m sure the lab technicians on the analysis end of things take it all very seriously. But to have to pee in a jug, well, it’s just kind of strange. I mean, I have to collect all that pee–in a bright orange jug–and then I get to walk back into the clinic with my big orange pee jug so that someone can look through it all and tell my fortune or something. Oh, and they have to take more blood to go along with the giant pee sample. Thus begins my series of pregnancy indignities.

But on the plus side of the blood pressure situation, I get to have an early ultrasound on Monday. Even though my period has always been very average (28-29 days) and regular like clockwork, for some reason in these high blood pressure situations, they need to get a picture to date the pregnancy. I’m not complaining, other than the fact that James probably won’t be able to come with me, but even that seems somewhat absurd. Okay, and I’m also complaining about the fact that I have to take an extra few hours off work. And drink a ton of water an hour beforehand and HOLD IT IN until the ultrasound. Yeah, okay, so maybe I am complaining right now, but something tells me I will forget about all of that when I actually get to see the little kiddo wiggling around in there. Like I forgot about everything when we heard the quick little heart beating today. I just wanted to listen and listen. But just when it was beginning to really sink in, the midwife pulled away the little microphone and wiped the goop off my belly and it was over. The room was quiet again. But it’s a beautiful sound to remember and know that the beat goes on, regardless of whether or not we can hear it.

Anyway, the last bit of good news is that the thesis is coming together better than I thought it would, which is why your reading this today, and I expect to have the whole thing done well before the end of the weekend. And that will also allow me to get to work on my catching up work as well as the final project for my one and only class. Who is awesome? That’s right, it’s me.


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