Confidence in Me

Recognition comes in many forms. And while I don’t want to discuss too many of the specifics regarding what I do (as in, “I’m an architect, what do you do?”), I do want to mention that I’ve been feeling pretty good lately about my place and my value to the organization.

I was hired by a friend from my other job, he was hired by a colleague of his, who was hired by her father, who is friends with the owners of the company. They are all doing very well with meeting their goals and inspiring their recruits. I haven’t hired anyone, and for right now, I don’t feel the need. Because right now, I want to make sure that I learn and act for myself. When I have confidence in my own ability to do what needs doing and show how it’s done, then I might begin to build a team of my own. The managers that I am lucky enough to work with have given me every indication that they will be there to help me with whatever I need and however I grow. And what’s more, they have already given me a lot of confidence in myself as I venture off in this new direction.

My managers are a bunch of studs, that is, they’re going out and making things happen. They are recognized, admired and respected. And for whatever reason, they have accepted me and made me feel like part of their inner circle. Maybe they’re just the types of people who can make anyone feel this way, but it’s a really great feeling because it boosts me up some just knowing that the top people have seen something in me that’s worth investing some time in. And even though I’ll probably never win any awards or contests, I know that once I really get going, I’m going to see some pretty proud smiles. And that’s so valuable to me.

I don’t always feel worthy. And I guess that’s okay because it means that I’m not one of those people who feels entitled to everything they have and more. But because of the people with whom I have begun forming relationships, even friendships, I feel like I’m not as unworthy as I might have previously believed.

These guys and gals sort of remind me of my dad. They are people people. They just love talking and connecting. And when I act that way, I know I love it, too. But I can be shy, sometimes slow to start, to feel comfortable, and my dad and my colleagues and managers have all been showing me that there is no reason to be shy or nervous around people. I should feel proud and excited for what I have to offer, and part of what I have to offer is me. And it turns out, that’s as valuable as anything else.

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