By Any Other Name

Me: I’ll have a large latte with soy milk please.

Cashier: You mean a Venti latte?

Me: What?

Cashier: Venti?

Me: Was I speaking a foreign language? No, that’s right, I have failed to succumb to speaking the special coffee language of the Starbuckians. Excuse me for thinking that by telling you I want a large size coffee I would actually get the large coffee, when CLEARLY THAT IS NOT WHAT IT SAYS ON THE MENU OR IN YOUR HANDBOOK. Thank you, kind barista for SHOWING ME THE WAY WITH YOUR OH-SO-PLEASANT CONDESCENDING DEMEANOR!

What I really said: Yes. And a chocolate croissant.

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