Enough with the bikini line. I’ve resigned myself to my hairy fate.
In other news, like our friend Katie Holmes, I too used to dream about marrying Tom Cruise. But who needs a “Top Gun” when you’ve got this:
I apologize for burdening you with sap, but two weeks from tomorrow… I’m getting married! For real! That’s like a total grown-up thing to do. I’m going to change my name, be a “joint” in both assets and debt, and I’m finally going to have sex again.
Things are going well. The Radisson is taking care of a lot of the details for us, and I’ve been in touch with both the priest who will be marrying us and the musical director at Saint Margaret Mary’s. Michelle, Greg, Kurt and Shari seem to be getting along well with the music. And I’m glad they’re all so excited. And James is in the kitchen right now making shrimp scampi with homemade pasta that we made ourselves with our new pasta maker.
Sorry, Tom, this girl’s taken. I seem to be totally in love with that guy in the picture up there.
Feel free to gag at will.