Impure Thoughts

Boy are they impure. Fifty-eight days to go. Now that school work is done, and I’m focusing more on wedding stuff and back to my future husband, I’m thinking more and more about the whole sex thing. When he presses himself against me, kissing me in that way he knows makes me crazy, I ache. I wonder what the hell we’re doing, not doing that.

We have our final meeting with the priest this evening. I’m wondering if it would be so bad to sort of just give up the abstinence once the papers are signed and delivered. Once Father Kevin approves, and God approves, and I can’t stand it anymore… Would it really be so wrong?

Then there’s that part of me that thinks, we have come so far. We’re well past the halfway mark and why throw it away now? If we did break down and screw each other silly, it would really feel like these three months have been for nothing. So, at this point, it’s just too late to turn back.

I’ll have to be satisfied with impure thoughts for the time being. What a shame.

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