Already Begun

Remember how I was all hopeful about “Mardi Gras”? Turns out, my partner in sin is all for going cold turkey. And already I can’t remember exactly how long it’s been since we’ve done it. It must have been Monday or Tuesday. It’s been a busy week, so things kind of run together.

In all honestly, we are not the humping puppies we once were. We make love every couple or few days, which, when you’re working your ass off at either a job you hate or graduate school, is pretty good. And the sex itself, though less frequent than a few years ago, has only gotten better. I have already been dreaming of what I will be missing these next several months.

I can’t begin to tell how much I love my fiance. Because he is willing to do this for me and with me, I feel so grateful and loved. I’m so far very impressed with how we have approached the situation thus far. I have spilled my guts about my emotional motivations. He has listened and agreed. And the most fun part is that we’ve made it a game. Sometimes, when we “argue” (and I use the term loosely because we often disagree about stupid little stuff that we both know is stupid and small), we both have threatened, at one time or another, to cut each other off. You know, sexually. The response (from whoever was being threatened) has always been to the effect of “you could never do it because you need it too much yourself.” Now, we have the opportunity to see which of us could actually follow through on such previously empty threats.

Why do I have the feeling that he will win?

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