I can’t even give up chocolate…

We knew what would be asked. I think deep down we both knew. Since we can’t live in separate places, we’re supposed to sleep in separate places. At the very least. To come to marriage as a sacrament. To present ourselves through the Church to God as “pure.” Or, as pure as possible.

I know that cohabiting before marriage is not ideal. And yet, I don’t think that it’s wrong. We love each other so much, more every day. How can it be wrong? How can God give us these bodies with their emotional and physical urges and expect us to “live as brother and sister”?

There are three choices:

  1. Abstain until July. That’s five months. (A week has been too long.)
  2. Find another priest to work with.
  3. Not get married in the Church.

I believe that Father Kevin and the Church really do have our best interests in mind. This preparation is for being married, not just for getting married. Anyone can get married. Not everyone can stay married. And maybe it would be good for us to find other ways to be intimate. Because, honestly, the church in Milwaukee is already booked, and where would we really be able to find another Catholic priest who would work with us if we’re not willing to be all “Catholic” about this thing, especially on such short notice? Maybe there is really only one choice. We just have to choose it.

This is going to be hell.


5 thoughts on “I can’t even give up chocolate…

  1. Lee says:

    Depending on your moral fortitude, there’s always the option of lying… I mean, it’s not like the Church checks up on your sleeping arranegments, right?

    –Happy to be Jewish. 😛

  2. Stacey says:

    I’m thinking that if she cares enough that this is bothering her, then lying isn’t so much a big option. Then again, desperate times call for desperate measures.

    And Sara, if you can do it, you are a stronger woman than most.

  3. Willow says:

    Leelee, I’ve read the Torah, and I remember it as just as choc-a-bloc with Dislike of Adultery as the rest of the books everyone else uses. 😛

    Sar, I think before you make this decision, you and James might think about exactly what the religious aspect of your marriage means to you. If you both feel it’s important–and stuff that is important in religion doesn’t always feel good, or make you happy–then abstain away. But if what appeals to you more is simply the community of the church, and the ritual aspect of Catholic marriage, then don’t torture yourselves. Abstention is only worth it if you see yourselves getting something legtimately spiritually beneficial out of it.

    There, now you have the opinion of a Jew, a Christian and a Muslim. You are nothing if not prepared. 😉

  4. Lee says:

    To be fair, and for clarification’s sake: while I may not be as well versed in texts of religions not my own, it is my understanding that of the three main world religion, we spend way less emphasis on premarital sex. While, yeah, frowned upon, exchanging money on the Sabbath and eating Ham & Cheese are much much worse. I’d never claim it’s allowed, but it’s by far not one of the big tenets of the religion.

    –My $0.02

  5. Willow says:

    That ham, man…what’s with God’s beef against pork? (Haha) I’ve never understood it…

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