We knew what would be asked. I think deep down we both knew. Since we can’t live in separate places, we’re supposed to sleep in separate places. At the very least. To come to marriage as a sacrament. To present ourselves through the Church to God as “pure.” Or, as pure as possible.
I know that cohabiting before marriage is not ideal. And yet, I don’t think that it’s wrong. We love each other so much, more every day. How can it be wrong? How can God give us these bodies with their emotional and physical urges and expect us to “live as brother and sister”?
There are three choices:
- Abstain until July. That’s five months. (A week has been too long.)
- Find another priest to work with.
- Not get married in the Church.
I believe that Father Kevin and the Church really do have our best interests in mind. This preparation is for being married, not just for getting married. Anyone can get married. Not everyone can stay married. And maybe it would be good for us to find other ways to be intimate. Because, honestly, the church in Milwaukee is already booked, and where would we really be able to find another Catholic priest who would work with us if we’re not willing to be all “Catholic” about this thing, especially on such short notice? Maybe there is really only one choice. We just have to choose it.
This is going to be hell.