I actually feel like going to church is doing me some good. I might be skeptical about Jesus actually returning to earth someday, and I might support the legal status of abortion, I’m cool with homosexuals wanting to marry and I don’t really think my god is any better than anyone else’s god, but there’s something about a community of prayer that has gotten me going.
I knelt down after receiving communion and tried to dial up God. I remembered how when I was younger, it was always easiest to ask for stuff first and throw in the thanks for everything at the end, but lately, my prayers are mostly thanks. I have a wonderful fiance, a nice apartment, a good job, the opportunity to be educated–especially in a creative capacity that I absolutely love– and I have so many good years ahead (regardless of the outcome of Tuesday’s election). I have wonderful parents, siblings, extended family and friends, and it’s hard to really think of something to ask from God, if He(or She) is listening at all.
I wondered if maybe my prayers would be answered better if I were to phrase them in the most eloquent way possible, making my argument in much the same way as an A+ research paper would. This is the student in me. But then I thought, maybe God singles out the humble and halted language of the less fortunate. Either way, I’m probably an average pray-er at best, so I guess I might just sit in the slush pile until the angels or saints or secretaries get around to looking me up. Until then, pray that small prayers be answered.
It’s not a birthday wish, so I guess if I write down what I pray for, it still might be answered. I admit that part of my prayers are selfish, as I’m only human. But mostly, the reason for my one prayer of asking was James. I have mentioned on this site that he is still working at Blockbuster, a job that he hates. I have mentioned this to God as well. All I asked today was for help–to help James to find the strength and motivation to get his feet in the door. Help for someone in the right position to see this man’s potential in his field. And help it to be a job that James can adore. I really think it would change our lives for the better. His especially, but mine by association. I guess that’s where the selfish part comes in. I just think we’ll both be happier overall if he can find happiness in his career.
I try to be a good person, and I hope that I succeed. I don’t know if God intervenes in our lives or if we’re a big experiment or reality show or something, but believing in God and the power of prayer makes me feel better. And praying in a church on Sunday morning with so many other pray-ers is sort of amazing, even among the women’s coughs and babies’ cries.