Right now, my husband is my best friend. This is a good thing, of course, but I kind of miss having a best friend outside my immediate family and residence, because that’s the person you get to call when you need to vent a little bit about the family and home life. It’s the person who will just nod and listen and perhaps commiserate some about their own family and home life.

We moved to Northern Virginia five years ago. I have had friends. Even one of those call anytime and get together on a moment’s notice kind of best friends. But the biggest problem with Northern Virginia is its transient residents. My closest friends, the ones I met through my first job in the area (the bookstore), have all gone. Mostly to California. And the group of us who stayed sort of unglued as we all moved on to pursue different and varied employment (and residential) opportunities. And though I’ve been lucky enough to make some decent friendships through various other channels, including school, I don’t have any one I would call for a favor or in a moment of frustration or celebration or just because.

Fortunately, I have an incredibly adorable almost-nine-month-old ice breaker. So, much like a single man with access to the same thing, I have been using the baby to try and meet women.

I’m shy. It doesn’t take me long to share a lot about myself, so I’m sure that “shy” is definitely not the first word someone would think of when describing my personality. But that period of time between “Hello, my name is…” and sex jokes over decaf soy lattes is often a very anxious one, however brief it seems. But you know what? After reading Amanda’s fool proof friend making strategy, I’m feeling more ready to get over myself and take some initiative. This is not easy. I was always the sidekick. One of the executors for the group’s “Captain Plan.” But without a group and without a Captain Plan leading the way, I have to step up or be lonely. So I’m choosing to step up.

I have started carrying around a little purple notepad and a little purple gel pen. This combined with the baby has already brought me a little closer to my friend-making goal. I pulled it out in a restaurant yesterday, and even though the other party lives quite some distance away, I have promised that I will get in touch anyway even if it means picking up the telephone. The worst that happens is that my friend situation stays the same and maybe I look too eager or a little foolish. The best? I get to talk to new people, share stories, swap babysitting, have lunch dates, be there for someone who will be there for me.

I think we all try to put on a confident, I-have-everything-I-need kind of attitude. But I have a hunch that I’m not the only person (especially stay-at-home-mom) who feels like there is a certain best friend type relationship lacking from her current baby-immersed life. So even though I would definitely rather be approached than approach, I will continue to make myself do it anyway. Because there’s probably a good friend match out there for me, maybe even in my own neighborhood, who might appreciate not having to make the first move, herself. So now it’s just a matter of finding her. Wish me luck.